Tuesday, June 28, 2011

For Your Consideration

In the midst of preparing this blog, I came across an old essay I wrote a few years ago, but for some reason left it unpublished. So, in lieu of a first "official" entry, I give to you what I consider to be a prologue of sorts for this blog:

Phone calls. Handshakes. Gift Baskets. Screener copies. "Good" reviews.

Almost like clockwork, awards season brings with it a wave of wanting. "For Your Consideration" notices plague websites, blogs, insider magazines, newspapers and so on. But, out of all the people fighting for a chance to at least be rumored to be getting an Oscar nomination, only a select few will actually go all the way.

I, for one, am not well known or important enough to be bribed with decorative soaps and expensive chocolate(or straight up cash, which I prefer), but I DO have a keyboard. And with that alone, I would like to formally ask for the Academy Of Motion Picture Arts And Sciences to consider, for the Best Supporting Actor category...Joe Fleishaker.

Image via Wikipedia

Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (3-Disc Collector's Edition) Call it a longshot, call it a darkhorse, I call it deserving. Though, it might be more deserving for Troma Studios than anyone, but since there is no Best Casting award...Not to say that Joe's performance in Troma's Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (3-Disc Collector's Edition) doesn't warrant recognition - it is one of the single funniest performances I've ever seen on film.

And Director Lloyd Kaufman knows funny. "I like fat people more than I like thin people, things are always a lot more funnier when they happen to fat people" He has said, and if there is ONE thing that Joe Fleishaker IS, it's a funny fat man.

Look at the brief scene under consideration: Jared(Joe Fleishaker) has pain in his stomach(hunger and intestinal problem). Refusing to let his food wait, He takes his tray with him to the toilet. While eating, He shits out(what we assume is) a baby chicken zombie, which promptly flies back up into his ass, causing poor Jared to not only shit like an Rhinoceros, but to stop eating.

When I first watched this, I felt myself almost tear up in excitement and laughter at this mass exodus of excrement, as I had once as a kid tried to set up a similar special effect for a video. The scene is believable enough in it's disgusting propulsion of poop, but what sends it over the top is Joe Fleishaker's screams of confusion, fear, pain and then joy - it is revealed that the shitting was so powerful, He shit himself skinny!

Ok, so maybe this is, indeed, a longshot for an Oscar nomination, or even to be rumored in the running for a nomination. But to all the voters out there, keep this in mind; is there ANY movie in the past year that has featured a scene as funny as or one that so exemplifies Americans image issues and relationship with fast food(and Americans in general) than an obese man literally shitting himself inside out, then running away in joy, leaving a poor fast food worker to clean it all up? For Your Consideration...

A short entry, yes. I hope it serves well as a preview. 
Academy Award for Best Foreign Language FilmImage via Wikipedia

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